Being a spectator

from outside the system one can easily criticize about the flaws in the system, can supply a lot of opinions to cleanse the system. But as the saying goes "its easier said than done" one will realize that it isn't as easy as it seems from the outside. Being part of a system, maybe not so large but yes a system definitely, I too had the same outlook before. I had the desire to make things idealistic.Now I can see that face mocking me at my fragile attempt. In a theoretical mechanical system the efficiency is calculated to be 100%, but when it comes to practical it turns out to be very low, the major cause behind this is friction. Similarly inside a system there is a lot of friction, friction with the face of a negative influence. Initially when I newly entered the system I had all the vigor and enthusiasm to fight through it, but due to timely wear and tear, I now seem to have lost that enthusiasm, nothing is there to support me, nothing is there to aid me. All I know that I am now exhausted. The system is like a down flowing river, and I am like the salmon that is trying to swim against the flow. Some succeed while some fail, and I feel very ashamed to make the statement that I too am part of those salmon that have failed and lay on the shore waiting for a slow and painful death. All claimed to understand me, at this statement I shall mock at them, cause i now realize how childish they had been. Now from within the system I have become a spectator watching the system flow, standing aside allowing the system to go as it intends, mentally exhausted of every ounce of enthusiasm to make the system idealistic. Neither am I flowing in direction of the system nor am I supporting it, but to outsiders I too shall now seem to be a part of "that" system.